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EDUCATIONAL REFLECTIONS

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als fail to see is that the use and distribution of any pharmaceuti- cal is loaded with health and ethi- cal concerns for consumers and professionals alike.

Consumer safety is the pri- mary factor behind the three month waiting period. As a con- sumer it is essential that you fully understand the effects and consequences, as well as your own motivation behind undergo- ing hormone treatments. Because the transgender population is a small minority, the majority of prescribing physicians do not have sufficient training in gen- der issues to distinguish with whom hormone use would be appropriate. Thus they turn to gender specializing psychothera- pists to assess and refer clients established in the process of making a permanent transition. The initial 3-month therapy pro- vides sufficient time for the thera- pist and individual to become acquainted, fully explore the client's transgender needs, and affirm that the individual com- prehends the effects and conse- quences of hormone treatment.

Notice: Hormones have been noted to cause and aggravate heart and liver dysfunction, high blood pressure, cancer and other serious medical conditions. Pro- tect your health by seeking out regular medical care and taking only prescriptions intended for your use.

To satisfy my sexual urges I like to wear women's clothing in the privacy of my own home, I've reached the conclusion that this is OK. What I currently see as a problem element are the homo- sexual drag queens and trans- sexuals who flaunt their sexual- ity. Those types are making life difficult for all of us, what can we do about it? -Anonymous - Las Vegas, NV.

Anonymous, it is good that you feel OK about crossdressing in the privacy of your own home. After all the choice to wear oppo- site gender clothing, whether it

EDUCATIONAL REFLECTIONS

be for sexual or social purposes, is yours to establish within self- set limits of responsibility.

You state that you crossdress to satisfy "sexual" urges. If so I suspect you may be a fetishistic crossdresser, one who crossdresses for sexual pleasure specifically.

What you may be unaware of is the fact that others crossdress for their own individual needs. Those may include sexual release, exploring one's feminine side, for socialization, for entertainment or sex industry purposes. You did not indicate how drag queens and transsexuals are making it difficult for "all of us," particu- larly you. -Do you fear being dis- covered because of the openness of others? Whatever your situa- tion may be, just as there are no "thought police" dictating how you should express and fulfill your own gender/sexual needs, extend the same individual right to others Limiting the individual rights for one limits them for us all.

*****

I find reading stories about being dressed as a woman very sexually exciting, especially when pantyhose, girdles and high heels are mentioned. Every night after my girlfriend goes to sleep I go down to our basement storage locker and masturbate while read- ing magazines and wearing women's clothing. Because of this I worry about having sex with my girlfriend, recently the only way I can get off is by thinking about wearing women's clothing. Have I become addicted? Do you think my mother dressed me as a girl when I was young? I like being a man however I worry allot about turning into a transsexual? Help! W.D. Brooklyn, NY.

W.D. in the Basement in Brook- lyn, isn't it time you started think- ing about.coming-up out of the basement? Is your girlfriend aware that your sexual fantasies include crossdressing? Have you talked with your girlfriend about her fantasies? Clearly in one sense you have become addicted if you resort to sneaking down

into the basement for sexual grati- fication and find that behavior is interfering with your relation- ship. You may wish to explore the option of setting aside time and mutually discussing each other's sexual fantasies. With that as a couple you might then seek to take turns exploring those hidden desires.

My suspicion is that until you find a healthier outlet for your crossdressing needs you may continue to have intimacy diffi- culties with your girlfriend. If for some reason you feel uncomfort- able disclosing mutual needs with your girlfriend, then perhaps you might be well-served by visiting a crossdresser's support or so- cial group and learn more about crossdressing and what other's needs and experiences have been like. If alas you feel uncomfort- able visiting a support group, contact a gender-specializing therapist in your area.

Without more information I cannot say whether your Mother crossdressed you as a child. Ei- ther she did, didn't or you have a very rich imagination... none of which would make you any less of a special person. Finally, you stated that you enjoy being a man thus more than likely you are not a transsexual. Take the time to explore your crossdress- ing needs, get some support!

Author's note... Thank you for your questions and interest in my column. Drop me a note should there be any counseling questions or subjects you would like to see written about. GEI.

*****

Gianna Eveling Israel specializes in providing individual and small group counseling and education for those dealing with transgendered issues. Nationally, her intuitive and empathetic skills are carried forth in her work as an educator, author, and as Western Regional Director for the American Educational Gender Infor- mation Services.

In San Francisco, Ms. Israel may be reached at (415) 558-8058 or by writing POB 424447 San Francisco, CA 94142.

LADY DEE ELLE

Continued from page 17

Fiona is always obedient. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be my maid for long. I apply deep red fingernails to her slender hands. Now all her movements will have to be graceful and dainty. She knows that if she loses a finger- nail, she won't be able to sit down for a week. Fiona realizes that she will get spanked regularly, just so she remembers who is boss. She will also get fucked, just so she remembers who owns her ass.

"What are you?" I ask while gazing into her lovely blue eyes. "I am your maid, My Lady." "What are you here for?" "I am here for your pleasure, My Lady."

"And what can I do with you? "Anything you want, My Lady."

"Bend over the foot of the bed." I want to see that pretty ass." Fiona bends over, wonder- ing what I am going to do to her.

Today, I chose to decorate her with some cute artificial tat- toos. I pull down her lacy panties and put a red rose on her left ass cheek. On her right cheek, I use a plastic stencil and a black fine print pen to write my name.

"If you displease me, Fiona, I will take great pleasure in spank- ing these decorations off you," I warn. "You were such a wiggle- bum when I was shaving you this evening, that I am going to de- light in punishing you later any- way."

"Yes, My Lady," Fiona never complains. She knows that it would be a waste of time. She knows that sympathy is only found in the dictionary (between shit and syphilis). Fiona precedes me down the stairs so I can watch her gently-swaying hips and lady- like movements.

One of the reasons that Fiona is so special to me, is that she is always thoughtful enough to bring me little presents. They are tokens of her esteem and devo- tion.

Tonight, when I am comfort-

LADY DEE ELLE'S MAID FIONA ably seated with my feet up, she presents me with a book called Princess by Sasson. This tells about the plight of women in Arab countries and Fiona knows how strongly I feel about women's issues She also presents me with a bottle of wine. I tell her to stick it in the fridge for next week and bring me something cold.

I read my new book while Fiona prepares supper. Because it is usually eight thirty in the evening by the time Fiona is pre- sentable, we always have some- thing quick and simple, like stir fry. On Saturdays, if I am going to have company, Fiona is respon- sible for planning the menu, shop- ping for groceries, and doing the cooking, serving and cleaning up.

Before setting the table, Fiona asks me if she is going to be allowed to sit with me. Some- times I like to listen to her tell me about her week. Today, because she is so beautiful she makes me insanely jealous, I decide I want her at my feet. She would become vain if she were allowed too many privileges.

Fiona serves me a delicious. shrimp linguini in cream sauce. I wrap the noodles around my fin- gers and watch her lick them off with a flick of her delicate pink tongue. Her submissiveness amuses me. I step in her dinner and make her lick her food up from around my shoes. She is very good at her task, a real joy to watch. Her movements are dainty and prissy.

Supper is over quickly and I tell Fiona that I want to torture her by tying her to the banister in the hallway. She moves into posi- tion and I secure her with metal handcuffs and cover her eyes with a blindfold. She spreads her legs wide, without being told. The high heels she wears push her crotch forward against the wall, attrac- tively. She is a vision of helpless- ness, quivering, waiting for my caress, or my whip. What will it be tonight? Even I never know until the last minute.

I like to watch her shiver so I get some ice and rub it all over her back. She squeals from the

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cold surprise. Next, I cover her body with clothespins, in every place that I can get them to grip. I haven't bothered to remove any of her clothes. The pins bite through the fabric of her panties, pinching her bum and balls. Her minuscule breasts and nipples aren't neglected. I feel her wince when I snap pins on them. The torture only seems to make her male meat grow bigger until I fear her panties will tear. I pick up my whip and slap the clothes- pins off of her body. She jumps with each stroke, but her cock never gets any smaller.

"How do you ever expect to pass as a woman with that big sausage in your pants?"

She doesn't answer. Obvi- ously, her maleness could be a problem whenever we go out in public.

"Come, Fiona," I ordered her as I unlock the handcuffs. "You are much too pretty for your own good. I'm just going to have to fuck your swishy ass."

I smack her with the whip as she negotiates the stairway in her high heels. She is still blind- folded. Each smack leaves her cheeks a brighter red and turns me on more. In the bedroom, I lock her to my brass bondage bed, face down. Her shapely legs are spread wide and a pillow un- der her stomach raises her bot- tom.

Fiona had never been fucked before she met me so she is prac- tically a virgin. Her tight anal opening needs lots of lubrication before she can accommodate a penis-sized dildo. My pussy fills with honey every time her fanny twitches. I love to hear her gasp with fright at the initial invasion and then moan with pleasure when I thrust the big cock in deep.

Tonight she is particularly tight, probably because she has been away from me for a week. I spread cold lubricating jelly down the length of my index finger and push inside her humid interior. I can feel her hot inside tugging on my finger as I widen her con- stricted channel. Soon she has